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Married? Is this All There Is? Why Have an Affair.....
I don't know about other men, but I would like to explain why I am pursuing an affair with another woman, though married.
Our society tells us that if a man is married and looking for romance elsewhere, that alone is pretty much proof that he is not reliable. A total rotter, right? Wrong!
The one thing I most certainly am, is reliable. My career successes are a direct measure of that. I take things seriously and am conscientious to a fault. The reason I am still married is because I do not shirk responsibilities. My family's security being the most important. However, there is one thing lacking in my life and that is life itself. I want to be in love and full of life and looking for it outside of my marriage is why I am pursuing an affair. If wanting to be happy in life makes me despicable, so be it. This is what I need and it's a high priority in my life. It is that important to me.
I was married 13 years ago. My wife is a good woman, a great mother, but, the fire has gone out. When we married, I was wildly in passionate love. After 13 years and 2 kids, my wife stayed the same even though I was changing and trying and improving all the while. My wife did not grow much as a person during our marriage.
I think obligation keeps most marriages together. It sure has mine. Ours is as comfortable as an old shoe. My wife is completely predictable, in routine and conversation. When the kids leave home, I'll be her only interest. That scares me. She is more of a sibling than a partner. I still love her in many ways but the passion is gone.
The woman that I get involved with will prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I will have at home is not love I once had, you know, the rev up your engine and put it in overdrive, the wild, passionate fun kind of love. It's more like the "Hi Sis, how was your day?" kind of love. I find the thought of making love to my sister very unappealing.
The affair must be more than just sex. Sex of course will make us feel better. But I need more....do you?
When you look in the mirror, do you wonder, Is this all there is? The answer is NO! Don't lose track of a most important thing, ME.
Is wanting to feel alive and emotionally charged expecting too much? I want that special person, partner, and lover. Someone who loves the man, not the security he provides. One smart, confident, alive, woman, with fire, a mind of her own, depth, character, dreams and who only wants to share life and love with me. Having passionate conversations, doing things together, laughing, that is what I want. To experience everything possible before I die. It can't be too late.
Loyalty. guilt. Obligation. Three very powerful persuaders! I know what I need to feel fulfilled. To pursue the dream means I must go behind the backs of those I've loved, and those that love me. Most of my adult life I felt the risk and price too high. It still scares the hell out of me to know I am risking everything.
Married people that cheat are not all bad apples. Most are hard working, honest, reliable, and too responsible to upset the status quo. To survive our marriages we look elsewhere for excitement and passion and live with constant internal conflict.
I am sure we will be fascinated by the joy we feel when we are with each other. Learning how we think, discovering what's important to us is such a rich feeling.
What do you think??????
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